A - If possible, the wishes of the mother-to-be should be accommodated, as it is her shower.

A - I have the same problem in my family. What I do is invite all sides and let them either come or stay home. If this is two separate sides of your family or people from different aspects of your life, a person from each side could throw a separate shower for mom-to-be (on different days of course). Assuming the guest list would not be the same, it may solve the problem of family feuding.

A - Showers including children can be great fun, if the kids are supervised well and allowed to participate in shower activities. However, this is a common dilemma when or a certain friend/family member has particularly unruly children. Two things I can suggest that might go over better than "don't bring your children" would be to either state in a polite way on the invitation something like "hire a sitter and meet us there at 1pm!", or if you know children will be coming, hire a person to provide child care in a different area during the shower.

A - Try talking to the hostess about how special your friend is to you, and how important it is to you that they be there for this special occasion. This is your special day, and barring any special circumstances where it would be in your best interest not to have said friend attend, the people you want at the shower should be invited.

A - Showers have usually been a time for women to get together and celebrate the new baby. However, as men take a more active role in raising the children a lot of people today like the idea of including daddy. If this is the case, then there can either be a men-only shower or a co-ed party. A daddy's shower can be held with just the guys and is usually arranged by a close friend of the dad. These don't usually involve games and can be held at a restaurant or bar or at someone's home with sports games or video entertainment. For gifts, the guys could bring gift certificates or a package of diapers. They could bring a traditional gift too, but most guys don't feel comfortable choosing baby outfits.

A co-ed shower is usually more a party than a shower. Barbecues are popular for co-ed parties. Guys don't usually ooh and aah over cute outfits like many women and might get bored during gift opening so consider having an alternate activity for the guys during this part. Depending on the guys, they might also not be into games. If you think the guys might be up for shower games, give it a try. Most games work with co-eds or can be slightly modified to fit the bill.

A - There are differing viewpoints on this issue. On the one hand, most parents already have all the baby things they need after having one, and on the other, every baby should be celebrated. So in between these is the idea of a baby "sprinkle" instead of "shower" for those who are already mothers. Still invite all the guests to celebrate this joyous occasion, but instead of bringing big gifts, have guests bring essentials like diapers, formula, and all those other little baby things that tend to add up and get used up. These are often called "diaper showers."

A - It is so wonderful when a couple is able to adopt a baby. A shower for an adopted baby should take certain things in to consideration. The shower should be after the couple has adopted the child as sometimes adoption proceedings don't always go as planned. Also remember that the parents are going to want to spend some special bonding time with the baby, so the shower should be put off for a month or two. When picking out invitations, try to find special adoption invitations. If you cannot find these, at least pick invitations that are appropriate to the situation. It is good to ensure that guests know that the baby is adopted, so they don't say something at the shower that might unintentionally hurt feelings or make people uncomfortable. Because the shower is held after the baby is adopted, it is likely that the baby will be at the shower. Games might not be as prevalent at this shower as babies are often entertainment enough :-)

A - Shower invitations should reflect the spirit of the shower and the joy of babies. There are some cute invitations at local card stores such as Hallmark. Creating your own cards by hand is also a wonderful idea.

A - You should include the following:

• guest of honor's name
• shower date and time
• hostess' name and phone number
• address of shower
• map of shower location (optional)
• RSVP date and phone number
• shower theme information (if applicable)
• sex of baby (if known)

A - These should be mailed to out-of-town guests about 4-6 weeks prior to the shower and about 2-4 weeks prior for local guests.

A - A good guideline for the RSVP deadline should be 2 weeks before the shower, but be sure to plan for guests that RSVP late or not at all.

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