A - This is up to you. It is not always a good choice for the mother-to-be (particularly in regards to the guest list). The mother-to-be will want to be able to choose who is invited and you will need to consult her schedule to find a date. If you do decide to host a surprise shower, be sure to contact the mother-to-be's & father-to-be's mothers to find out what family members to invite. You may choose to surprise the mother-to-be with a second shower with only her closest of friends. A coworker might also choose to surprise the mother-to-be with a shower at work.

A - There are many variations on showers, but we have devised a general "schedule" for baby showers. You can add/remove any part and re-order it to your liking.

• Greet Guests - serve light appetizers
• After all or almost all guests have arrived, go around the room and have each guest introduce themselves and identify how they know the mother-to-be.
• Play 2-4 Shower Games. It is good to play games at the beginning as ice-breakers.
• Remember some guests may not know *anyone* but the mother-to-be.
• Let everyone go get whatever food may be available and then once everyone has been served, the mother-to-be can begin to open her gifts. Be sure to have someone write down each gift and who it is from. It will make sending thank-you notes a lot easier.
• People chat and usually leave a few at a time. Make sure the mother-to-be gets to say goodbye to everyone and the hostess thanks the person for attending. If the hostess has shower favors, they should give this to the guest now.

A - Two hours is a good estimate. Things may wind down early or they may likely continue on as guests chat together.

A - For the health of the baby, it is always advisable not to expose mother and unborn child to second hand smoke. Smoking guests should understand if asked to smoke in a designated area outside the home.

A - No one is ever obligated to buy a gift, however it would be a polite gesture. If you haven't had contact with the parents-to-be in awhile, or barely know them, and you feel they are only wanting more gifts, its your prerogative not to purchase one.

A - $25 is a nice average amount to spend. This does depend on many factors, however. Wealthy grandparents-to-be might be expected to pay a bit more for a gift than say someone struggling to make ends meet who has only known the parents-to-be a short time. All in all, just whatever you feel you can afford and would like to give the new parents to celebrate the birth of their child.

A - You may specify in the invitations that if the guest WISHES/WANTS they may make a donation to 'name of charity/organization' in lieu of a gift.

A - While baby showers have come a long way as of late, and old etiquette rules are being broken right and left, this one is still usually thought of as tacky.

A - A reasonably sized registry list is usually welcome, as it helps guests know what to shop for. I would not, however, include a 4 page long list with mostly expensive items.

A - No, there do not have to be games. If the mother-to-be is older or just not into games, you may choose to have a nice dinner or tea at a restaurant or at your home. If many of the guests do not know each other, games should probably be part of the shower. This will help get guests involved and having fun. If you're not sure, discuss the idea with the mother-to-be and find out what she feels would be best.

A - See our GAMES section for many!

A - Typically there is a not a meal served at a shower, but simply finger-foods. Chips, pretzels, ice cream, pie, cake...just typical snack or dessert foods. A fruit or vegetable tray would be a good alternative for the health conscious. There should be coffee & punch available for the guests. You may also choose to have soft drinks or other beverages available. Out of respect to the mother-to-be do not serve alcoholic drinks. If the mother-to-be is not drinking caffeine either, you might choose to forego caffeinated coffee and soft drinks. The type of food also varies with theme. It is not uncommon to have formal teas or barbecues for example. See our RECIPES section for some ideas!

A - Shower favors are not a tradition in all areas. In some regions, it is unheard of give favors (they came to shower the mom, not vice-versa). Yet in other regions, it is a must (it is rude not to acknowledge their presence with a favor). It's best to base your decision on what you have experienced at showers you have attended locally or ask close friends and find out what they think. If you do have favors, some ideas are potpourri satchel, scented candles, or candies wrapped in tulle. See our FAVORS section for ideas!